Sonoma in Song
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Did
you know that Race Fans Forever (RFF) has a Fantasy
Racing game? Have been doing
it for several years now. It’s a fun
game. There are no entry fees. There is no monetary payout to the Season
Champion... just bragging rights for an entire off-season that you were the
best picker for the year.
I
joined RFF in 2016, too late to race that season. I used the remainder of that season to scout
and try to figure out the game which turned out to be pretty simple-each race
week make one pick and however many race points that driver earns for the race
is what you get. If you want to pick a
different driver next week, just pick a different driver at no cost.
Well,
there was a cost... you had to explain why you picked the driver you
picked. A short paragraph will do.
As
I scouted the 2016 results, I saw a variety of “driving styles” among the
competitors. Some had short and sweet
picks. Others went into great detail
justifying why their weekly choice would win.
Some were funny. Others
serious. Some stat-filled, others no
other reasoning but I think he’ll win.
Easy. Until you have to do it.
When
the 2017 season opened at Daytona I was ready to go... or thought I was. Making these picks just wasn’t as easy as I
thought and delivering in a “unique line” proved even more difficult.
At
Fontana, an old tune, Stephen Foster’s “Oh Susannah” came to mind and the words
for a Jimmie Johnson pick fit perfectly.
So that was the start of submitting my picks by song.
First,
it was just portions of songs, then it was entire verses and finally entire
songs. Why Jim Fitzgerald, who was running
the Fantasy Racing at that time didn’t put a stop to it all I don’t know. It had to be hard on him decipher the pick
and a nightmare for PattyKay Lilley to format and post. But they let me run with it.
The
genre didn’t matter. Glen Campbell’s easy
“By the Time I Get to Phoenix” now had a racing twist to it. Dean Martin’s “Houston” was
perfect for Fr’istol
and the southern rock hit “Sweet Home Alabama” didn’t take
much work to become “Sweet Home Talladega.” Even Bob Dylan’s folk song “Blowing in
the Wind” became the sendoff tribute for Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s final
race at Daytona entitled “His Daddy Saw the Wind.”
Nothing
was off limits. Frank Buhrman put in a
request for some Motown for the Michigan race, which resulted in a racing
version of Marvin Gaye’s “I Heard It through the Grapevine.” You
could just close your eyes and hear The California Raisins doing
this version. After using Grandpa Jones’
“Eight More Miles to Louisville” as inspiration for my Jimmie
Johnson pick in “500 Laps at Martinsville,” PattyKay asked me
what I could do with another Grandpa Jones Classic – “Baldheaded End of a Broom”
resulted in this little ditty
Oh
the 18 is a funny, funny thing
As
he'll wreck both young and old
He's
apt to cause you to crash
Ask
Joey if you're bold
Your
tires'll squeal, you'll fight the wheel
Car
is in the wall
You
will lose your mind, drives like he's blind
Then
wants to fight you after it all.
Boys
I say from 18 keep away
Give
him room and more
When
you pass, he'll hit you in the ... bumper
With
the chrome-plated end of his horn.
One
verse is all I could get though. That’s
not the easiest song to work with but it still got the message across!
It
was all fun. My wife took a look at some
of my “songs” and observed, “That’s good.
But do you want to write or become the ‘Weird Al Yankovic’
of NASCAR?”
Truthfully,
she was right. There can only be one
“Weird Al”. Besides, I was nowhere in
his parody songwriting league and she has heard me on accordion-I’m terrible.
So
I dropped the songs and went back to a more conventional Fantasy Pick
“line.” It was for the better for all
involved, especially Jim and PattyKay.
Their lives had to get much easier.
I wished I could say it improved my Fantasy picks... but alas, it did
not.
Looking
back though, there is one pick that I’d have to say was my all-time
favorite. Over two years later it will
still drift back and earworm me.
It
was for this week’s race... Sonoma.
Since we’re heading back there this weekend I thought I’d pull it back
out for your listening enjoyment – “Sonoma California” inspired
by The Eagles' Don Henley's “Hotel California...”
Sonoma California
On
a wine country highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of burning Goodyears, rising up through the air.
Up ahead in the distance, saw an incredible sight
Stock cars racing on a big road course;
Turning left then back right.
There
I bought me a ticket;
Heard the engine roar swell
And I was thinking to myself
'This sounds like Heaven but it's probably Hell'
Then they lit up their back tires as they blasted away
Heard a voice come onto the old PA,
I thought I heard him say
Welcome to Sonoma California
Such
a lovely place (such a lovely place)
For a road course race.
Plenty of fun in Sonoma California
It's that time of year (it's that time of year)
To
find 'em racing here
The
course is dimensionally twisted, it's got hills, dips and bends
Turn
twelve is sure to separate
the racing boys from
the men.
He
said, 'Rusty had my last one here, it's time that we do it
again'
And still those voices are calling the pick for me,
Wake me up in the middle of the night
Saying go with Keselowski
Welcome to Sonoma California
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
For a stock car race.
Havin' some
fun in Sonoma California.
We'll see what Kez can do (see what Kez can do)
I'm
going with the 2
Pack
is in his rear view,
Checkered flag looks so nice
Then he said, 'we took no prisoners here,
cause we knew we were in for a fight'
In
post-race celebration
Oh
the Monster Energy flew
Just
hoping that the win will stand
Don't
need encumbered win for the 2
Last
thing I remember,
It
was back through post-race tech
Hoping
that the win will stand
But with the lasers oh what the heck
'Congrats' said the tech man,
'Hope you didn't try to deceive.
You can burnout any way you like,
Don't let us catch you weave!'
Brad
K for the Sonoma win with the deepest apologies to Don Henley.
So
this Sunday when the pace car pulls out of the pits to lead the field onto the
track for their pre-race warm up laps before they take the Green, cue up this little tune
but think about the words above. I
betcha before they come around for DW’s final “Boogity, Boogity, Boogity”
you’ll have a grin on your face and will be ready to race.
Welcome to Sonoma California
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
For a stock car race...
And
for the record I’ll be pulling for Brad again this time...
Enjoy and have a safe, good race.