Shenanigans at Sonoma
I bid you welcome gentle readers, and a warm “Hey y’all” to our assigned reader of all things NASCAR on this cloudy day in the North Georgia hills. What is presented here today is not new, but only 49 people have ever laid eyes on it until now. This was written in 2010, and read only in a small Fantasy Auto Racing group on Yahoo. The Cup series is on hiatus this week and my kids have been here all week, preparing for a garage sale that will run Friday and Saturday in my garage. (Their driveway would discourage anyone but a mountain climber from visiting a sale there.)
So, with all that going on, guess who didn’t get anything written this week. This offering is from the Lady in Black, but it’s not a race. The old gal tended to be a little less reverent and a bit sassier when not writing for the masses. I do hope you enjoy a few giggles from this because it’s all I’ve got.
Good day race fans. This is your raving reporter, the Lady in Black, coming to you today from a tiny little dot on the map of North Georgia, from which I plan to watch the race on Sunday. It's been a while since we last spoke, but my silence has only been exceeded by the boredom of what appeared at first to be on its way to yet another year in the reign of Team 48. Even NASCAR is getting nervous and starting to make noises about changing the format of the highly overrated Chase for No Sponsorship.
What? It's not exciting to have one team win every other race, all year long? No friends, it is decidedly NOT exciting. So far, the best part of the 2010 season is the fact that Chad and Jimmie have not been in Victory Circle since Bristol and it looks as though the teams from JGR might have caught up when they weren't looking. But… and there is always a “but”; it is Happy Harvick, from RCR, atop the much vaunted points. Hey, you don't suppose that's why NASCAR is talking about…nah… they wouldn't do that to Richard, would they?
And… moving right along to the left coast, that is the site of this week's battle. I had a pocketful of notes jotted down on some humorous things that have occurred out at Inferior Raceway, in the land of fruits and nuts… What? Oh, come on, that must be the name. It sounds right to me. I call it Sonoma or Sears Point, but I guess y'all can call it any old thing you like.
Now, as I was saying before the interruption, I had all these notes, but when I went to file them, I very cleverly managed to delete them instead… it's one of those Senior Moment things, don't ya know? So instead of writing at my leisure tomorrow, I'm jotting all this down tonight, especially for you. (And me, because I'm ticked off at myself and I hate that)
I had rather looked forward to the switch from FOX to TNT, as the crew from FOX can wear thin after not too long. Then, lo and behold, who is doing all of the commentary for TNT? Why it's our old friends, Larry, Darrell and Hollywood Hammond. Oh Goody! How long until ESPN? Oh, wait… that's Rusty, Brad Daugherty and that crew. Where is Bob Jenkins when you need him and what have they done with Buddy Baker? I think I'm about to pitch a hissy fit!!!
And while I'm on the boobs on the tube, I heard one this afternoon during practice that really fried my onions. Randy Pemberton was proclaiming himself some sort of encyclopedia of wisdom regarding road courses, when he commented on some driver action thusly…"And it works the same here as it does in Sonoma." Um… Earth to Randy… what planet are you on and what have you been putting in your iced tea? Last time I looked, "here" IS Sonoma! Lord, save me from media experts and talking heads… or is that tails?
Oh, before I forget, NASCAR baby watch is alive and well. It was announced today that Jamie and Christy McCutey are expecting another little McCutey along about December 5. Most of the rest are due to litter within a couple of weeks. That includes the Montoyas, the Johnsons and the Gordons, not necessarily in that order. The only one making much of a fuss is Jimmie, who has appointed a stand-in (Aric Almirola) in case Chandra should decide to deliver on a race weekend. (Would she dare? Would Chad approve? Tune in next month to find out.) The other two are old hands and probably wouldn't leave the track if the race were called for tornadoes.
Oh dash it! I just remembered something that was in those notes. While watching qualifying and following it on the Not-so-Live Leaderboard from nascar.common, I had to laugh when all of a sudden, the first name of every driver there was listed as P. J. Gentle readers, I can't make this stuff up. It was there, and I copied it to share with you, but of course, along with every witty thing I'd written, it is gone forever now. I am admittedly old and certainly no computer geek, but I still have to wonder exactly how much you have to screw up to arrive at an error like that. It was P. J. Kahne, P. J. Johnson, P. J. Whoever… all the way through 46 drivers. Ya just gotta love it!
Before I leave, I must caution all of you to be prepared for the Anthem this week. Remember, folks out "there" tend to value things differently from most of us here on the right coast, and patriotism doesn't seem to be very high on their list. The tracks in Leftist Land have treated us to some horrific renditions of The Star Spangled Banner over the years. One can always hope, but if disappointed, remember… you were warned. We'll be at Pocono again shortly, where the Anthem is always the star of the show.
I know this wasn't particularly witty, but I assure you, those lost notes were just precious. It's like the fish that got away. It was always the biggest and best.
And that’s just the way things happen around here. Would I lie to you?
Time now for our Classic Country Closeout and today’s choice is a short but oh-so-sweet reunion of some super-talented greats of Country Music. Please enjoy!
Be well gentle readers, and remember to keep smiling. It looks so good on you!