All the News Unfit to Print~ All-Star Edition
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I bid
you welcome gentle readers, and that of course includes our assigned reader of
all things NASCAR on this lovely sunny day. Let’s see now… where did we race
last week? Oh yes, Texas. Well, they say everything is bigger in Texas and I
guess that includes SNAFUs. Air guns, missed penalties, NASCAR’s President
ripping up social media… it was a less than memorable occasion and this old fan
is happy we’re going to Bristol. Of course, just as most every year, there is
rain in Sunday’s Bristol forecast, which would only serve to keep the brothers
Waltrip talking… and talking…
It’s
only Wednesday as I commence this week’s conversation, but the week is already
filled with Media Releases from the sanctioning body. By the time this gets to
where you can read it, every pundit known to NASCAR will have let you know that
Monster Energy Drink will remain Series Sponsor through 2019. After that, we’re
told that NASCAR wants to try a “New business model.” Your guess is as good as
mine, but that seems to entail getting more money from TV Partners and Official
Whatever Partners but not giving anything in return… like naming rights. Sounds
like business as usual at NASCAR.
Maybe
it’s my age, but I see no reason for panic here. From 1949 through 1970, there
was no entitlement sponsor and NASCAR wasn’t looking for one. The Winston
sponsorship from R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. was originally offered to Junior
Johnson, who wisely realized that the kind of money they were ready to invest
was far more than what was needed to run a team. Johnson arranged for a
representative from the tobacco giant to meet with Bill France, and that
resulted in over 30 years of a blissful marriage, from 1971 through 2003. The
kind of sponsorship and “activation” given by RJR is impossible to replace.
What has been seen in the interim years was different, perhaps not so much in
the amounts, but in marketing ability and understanding of the sport itself.
I feel
that NASCAR is entirely capable of standing on its own merit without a title
sponsor. I’ve always been a strong proponent of going back to being the “Grand
National” series, as Cup used to be known in the Golden Era of Racing. It was
just confusing when someone had the brilliant idea so slap that name on the
Busch Series. It’s a good, strong name for a racing series and just imparts the
idea that we are indeed the best of the best! Having said that, I guess it
won’t be under consideration now, because the idea came from a small town in
Georgia and not from Daytona Beach or Charlotte.
The
next one didn’t take long at all to go from rumor to fact with an announcement
concerning that useless waste of a weekend known as the All-Star Race. Seems
there is to be a “New format” for the thing. Nothing new about that. Changing
the format has been a nearly annual event from the first one in 1985.
In that
snoozer, twelve drivers ran a straight 70 laps. Darrell Waltrip won it. Besides
Waltrip, only Harry Gant and Terry Labonte led laps and they finished in that
order. The race took just 40 minutes to conclude and was caution-free
throughout. That will not occur this year.
The new
format will have them racing in stages (Oh, come on… you’re not in the least
surprised by that) of 30-laps, 20-laps, 20-laps and 10-laps for a total of 80
laps. All stages must end under green. Oh, but that’s only part of what’s
coming next month.
“Each
car will be fitted with aero ducts, a six-inch-high spoiler with two 12-inch
ears, a restrictor plate and the 2014 style splitter. Working in concert, these
additions create a unique aerodynamic effect, the results of which received
high praise from fans and competitors following last year’s Xfinity race at
Indianapolis.”
That
paragraph is taken directly from the Media Alert that arrived in my email
yesterday, not 24-hours after the “rumor” was circulated that they might be
running restrictor plates in the All-Star Race. Best thing I see is that huge
spoiler. We’ve gotten to the point with the ones they run now that drivers
remark on the cars inability to run two wide! Funny, but I remember a
time when side-by-side racing was loved and adored by both drivers and fans.
Harkening
back for just a moment, let’s examine the Xfinity race at Indy last year. I’m
not sure where all that “high praise” would have come from because NO ONE
watched it! I have an excerpt showing the final 10 laps, which is nothing more
than a college course in blocking by William Byron. Bless his heart, he beat
Paul Menard. They will be almost exclusively the only cars you will see, so
between yawns, please pay close attention to the vast grandstands at Indy.
Huddled together in a miserable little group are a few humans that I remarked
at the time could have been comfortably entertained in my small living room.
One can only assume they are from the drivers’ families. Here is what drew all
that high praise:
The
entire race can be found on YouTube, but I’m betting no one cares. No one cared
when it was live!
This
should be the place where I insert the lecture about messing up the aero on the
cars and not applying Band-Aids to amputation sites. Restrictor plates at
Charlotte is not the answer. Gimmick after gimmick and then a gimmick to
counteract the previous gimmick. All-Star race… sorry, I have plans to wash my
hair that night… several times over if necessary. Shampoo, rinse, repeat…
Time
now for our Classic Country Closeout, and since it stars Red Foley and I’ve
found him, we’ll all enjoy another segment of the Ozark Jubilee show Red hosted
back in 1955. Please enjoy:
Be well gentle readers, and remember to keep smiling.
It looks so good on you!
~PattyKay