Short, unsweet, and to a very pointed audience.
Yes, I understand you have a right to your opinion and a right to voice it. God Bless America.
Now that we have that out of the way, hey bellyaching NASCAR Nation (despise that term, by the way)…shut it!
Oh, yes, honey, I understand. Your driver didn’t win the race. And, dear, oh dear, if I could hug away the fact that your driver didn’t win the Championship, I would. And please believe me when I say that if I could take away the pain that you have because Jimmie Johnson now has the same amount of Championships as your beloved King and/or Intimidator, I most assuredly would. And if I could soothe away your fears that our newest Champion, The Opportunist, would win an unprecedented eighth title, have no fear, you would be soothed.
Unfortunately, I have about as much power with those actions as I do when I write on the pages of this website. None, zero, zilch, nada, nil. Void where prohibited, participating locations may vary, and the doctor is definitely out.
I was pulling for Carl Edwards, actually. I went from 60 to 0 in about 4.1 seconds. It all went to Hell. I went to the fridge, poured myself a drink, sat back and watched the rest of the race which was mostly NASCAR’s impression of the Mannequin Challenge.
You know what I didn’t do? Go on social media immediately and say that Rick Hendrick has NASCAR in his pocket. I didn’t tweet anything about Jimmie Johnson being a cheater. I didn’t make any sexual inferences regarding Chad Knaus’ mother.
But some of you did. And you should be ashamed of yourself. Because I am ashamed for you. (See what I did there? I broke three rules at once by starting sentences with “and”, “but,” or “because.” Thems are no-nos.)
Really, NASCAR fans? The Anti Trump folk say that the country was just knocked back 100 years of progression when he was elected to the highest office in the country. The “good” NASCAR fans can’t get out of the 50’s because of the “bad” ones. Honestly, you rotten apples can ease right on out of the door because you’re giving the rest of us a bad name. Want some examples?
“I walked away from baseball. Must be time for me to walk away from NASCAR.”
Okay, get out. Go watch competitive shoe-tying.
“Really Edwards your an idiot!”
Says the one using the wrong “You’re”.
“The 48 is the New England Patriots of NASCAR…Always cheating.”
Did I miss something?
“If I have to hear the 'Is Jimmie the greatest?’ I'll puke.”
How are you feeling this morning?
“Cheated at Pre Race had a car that Danica could pass and still won......what a fixed game this is, You get rewarded for cheating. Hendrick runs Nascar. Need an asterisk beside name for Super Cheater”
If they presented an illegal car for pre-race, it had to be legal before it passed the inspection. Still had to fix it, and went to the back. But, I guess you hated all of the pioneers, like Smokey Yunick and Junior Johnson, too, because they played outside of the lines as well.
“Lagono just didn't learn a darn thing from last year, I just don't understand how he could take a chase driver out by being to aggresive!”
I don’t even know where to start…
“Smoke retired. Done watching.”
“It took luck and a trumped up format for him to get to 7..don't even talk about him in the same breath as Petty and Senior!! But congratulations Jimmie!!”
Translation: “You don’t deserve the titles or the respect, but congrats.” ???
It’s sad, really. I wonder why people are like this, but then I remember that this is the same society that needs a line across the toes to know if a sock is worn correctly.
Anyway, all you folks with hate in your hearts, hug your loved ones a little extra tighter, give your friends a few extra minutes, throw the paper change in with the coins when you tip now and then. Peace…love…recycle, take a deep breath, Daytona countdown is on, and maybe, just maybe We’re Stronger Together and together we can Make NASCAR Great Again.
Aaaannnndd I just saw that someone toilet papered Jimmie Johnson’s house.
Feel free to leave comments below, and be sure to follow me @RaceFansJim on Twitter, because sometimes I give stuff away!